Commentary: ‘Dog Bites and Sexy Pizza’

0:00: My just-out-the-shower-not-yet-properly-dried hair attests to how hard-pressed I was for time to shoot this.

0:04: The Fault in Our Stars entered my life around the same time as Lauren, and so, Amsterdam was always at the top of my must-visit list. But my long-distance relationships took me to France, Germany, and Spain first.

0:16: That song is the instrumental for Kamikaze by Owl City.

0:44: Amsterdam Centraal’s public piano is legit. You kind of forget it’s there, so when you arrive from the airport and hear it in the distance as you’re winding your way towards the exit, it’s like a warm hug welcoming you back to one of the best cities ever.

1:05: I say “some bikes” but there’s just one bike. I will never forgive myself for not reshooting that part but it was 2:00am and yeah.

1:11: Nikki is solely responsible for getting me into One Direction.

1:15: Everyone hyped up Fristi to me. And I don’t blame them. It’s a revelation, a miracle, a blessing.

1:50: The ‘get angry at people for not knowing vlog-enriching information’ side of my persona.

📍 2:04: Coffee Company, Spui

📍 2:10: VOC-Café De Schreierstoren

📚 2:25: Kat In De Stad

2:45: Bitterballen! In spite of my vegetarian values, here’s a recipe.

📍 2:51: Red Light District

📍 2:51: Red Light District of Amsterdam

The most famous red light district in the world, also known as Rossebuurt, or De Wallen. Home to the world’s oldest profession of prostitution, which wasn’t legalized until 1810. It’s been around since the 1300s, when women carrying red lanterns — due to the flattering color — met sailors near the ports. For the past decade, authorities have been trying to eliminate pimps and human traffickers by reducing the number of red light windows. Don’t point your camera at them.

2:57: Let this go down in history as the worst attempt at humor any human has ever pursued.

📍 4:00: American Book Center

Weird that I made a joke about this, considering I now fully subscribe to US English. Anyhow, the American Book Center is easily one of the best places on Planet Earth and it has such a ridiculous amount of books and it also has a tree trunk running up thru its interior and just please go there.

📍 4:23: Café de Prins

5:16: One of the things I hate about watching these older videos back a couple of years on is how I say ‘that‘ so forcefully. It’s a small thing. I did it because there’s about five minutes between each voiceover bit being recorded, so I felt like I had to use specifying language, like ‘that’. But in the edit there’s just a clean cut. So it feels weird and distracting. But I guess this was only my second full-on vlog, and we all start out doing stupid shit.

📍 5:42: Bibliotheek Amsterdam

Or more specifically, the Central Library, ‘cause ‘Openbare Bibliotheek Amsterdam’ refers to the full network of public Amsterdam libraries. This one is just a lil way along from Amsterdam Centraal railway station, and it’s a stunning building with a sick exhibition space.

5:54: Hit up the Humans of Amsterdam blog here.

6:11: ‘Deppenapostroph’ is a reviled phenomenon I learned of during my time in Germany. It started as outcry over unnecessary apostrophes in Germanic languages where German grammar rules didn’t call for apostrophes, and now also targets the use of incorrect symbols in place of apostrophes. Namely, the use of accents. If I were to write ‘accents’ as accent´s, that’d be deppenapostroph. There’s a website dedicated to its eradication.

6:16: If you haven’t heard of Humans of New York, what the fuck.

6:24: Humans of Tel Aviv is also cool.

6:55: That song is the instrumental for Alligator Sky by Owl City.

📍 7:37: Vapiano

8:02: I mean, the similarity is uncanny.

📍 8:03: Sea Palace Restaurant

8:42: This app is called Swarm. You check into places, share your whereabouts with your friends, unlock stickers and ‘mayorships’ (when you check into a location more than anyone else), etc. It’s a layer of fun over reality. Plus, it goes hand-in-hand with Foursquare to personalize your travel guides.

9:11: If there’s one thing I’d consider a must-watch for everyone on the planet, it’s Black Mirror.