Commentary: ‘A Tale of 100 Benches’
0:08: I am truly the worst person.
0:10: The first time I ever used After Effects. Back then, I was using an ancient, shitty, MacBook Pro 2013 which really wasn’t up to the job of running the latest versions of Creative Suite apps, so it took me three ice ages to render just a few seconds of a title appearing behind the boat. I only noticed the masking mistake (did you notice it?) after an hour of my MacBook whirring like a jet engine. It was 2:00am. I just didn’t have the effort left in me to go back and render the whole thing again just to fix that tiny detail.
2:12: Brouwerij 't IJ is a fantastic brewery, and Amsterdam is proud of it, so their beers are stocked pretty much everywhere. Grocery stores, pubs, climbing gyms. Everywhere. The brewery itself is worth a visit, too — it’s on the ground floor of a windmill, near IJ, the body of water from which the brewery gets its name. The windmill brewery is near a street called Zeeburgerpad on the Eastern docklands, which makes me think of a grill restaurant with a cozy homely interior.
2:43: Another attempt at humor which I cringe at. Also, why did my ‘friends’ let me have this haircut for so long?
2:44: Back in mid-2015, when Dutch Lauren first told me about resident cats being a norm in eateries across The Netherlands, I hopped on Google to find out more. There was a freshly-published article by The Telegraph delving into the phenomenon. The opening paragraph of the article kills me every time: “No-one knows why Amsterdam has a mouse problem. Maybe they’re coming for the cannabis and staying for the great cycling infrastructure.”
2:56: Show this to your parents, if they’re still around, to prove to them that you CAN clap with one hand.
3:09: The song under this montage is an unreleased Owl City track called Ridiculously Happy.
3:42: This bridge is called Willemsbrug, not to be confused with the far more impressive Willemsbrug in Rotterdam. Lauren was once late to something, and the bus she was on was waiting to go over the Willemsbrug, but the bridge broke down, so she had to get out and walk a whole different route.
3:46: One of the coolest things about the free ferries in Amsterdam is that they’re completely free — ‘free’ things often come with some kind of catch, but these are entirely free. If you hop aboard one, take a moment of appreciation for this fact, and lean down to give the ferry floor a pat.
3:50: Yeah, people in Amsterdam have so many bikes, they need boats just to store them all. And those boats are double-stacked, too, thanks to a nifty lil levering system. Double-decker bike boats.
4:46: Shoutout to the mismatched shoes.
4:57: Istanbul artist Memo Akten used high-definition projectors and infrared cameras to create this interactive wall, which follows your movements with pretty swathes of paint. The exhibition was titled ‘Body Paint’.
5:09: We recorded all three of the green screen adventures! Enjoy:
6:15: I’ve taken the courtesy of capturing this frame for you, should you wish to make it your wallpaper: